Getting out of your comfort zone
I’m currently reading a book called ‘The Untethered Soul’, by Michael A. Singer.
(It seems every 4 years or so I read a book about spirituality that gives me a reality check and puts my whingeing into perspective - 10/10 would recommend giving it a go)
I’m up to a chapter that describes the inner houses we build for ourselves - i.e. our comfort zones.
These are cosy little apartments that we’re constantly decorating, installing things into, rearranging and renovating - so that they suit us so perfectly that we never need or want to leave them.
We stay in our little apartments and watch TV, read books, pick up new hobbies, take midday naps, and cook tasty dinners every night.
Imagine how nice that would be? No stressors, no obligations, no one nagging you or relying on you…
However - you’re also not allowed outside of your little apartment, and there are no windows or doors. There’s no natural light that can come in, you’ll never know the feel of the sun on your skin, what the rain smells like, or how it feels to jump into a lake with a waterfall after you’ve completed a sweaty hike.
You won’t be able to meet anyone, ever. You’ll never be able to people-watch at a café, hear the sound of a group of friends laughing with each other, or know what it feels like to be a part of that.
You’ll never know what it’s like to be truly known by anyone at a deeper level and accepted for who you are. And if you’ve been lucky enough to feel that - isn’t it just the most amazing gift to receive?
You live in your little apartment that’s cute and cosy and just how you like it, but sometimes watching Friends and How I Met Your Mother re-runs causes a pang of FOMO inside of you that you can’t ignore. So you decide to re-arrange your apartment again or watch a different show and hope that the feeling will go away.
These little metaphorical apartments are our comfort zones, which we all create for ourselves.
We like to make sure that we look a certain way and act a certain way to ensure the behaviours of people towards us remain pleasant and non-confrontational.
We create this idea in our heads of how we are supposed to look and behave to be the most acceptable - using the feedback we’ve received from other people to determine which version of ourselves we must aspire to be (wow you look amazing, have you lost weight?) (yes, because I’ve had crippling anxiety lately but thanks!!!)
When circumstances change and therefore so might the way that you appear - your comfort zone equilibrium is shaken and you believe this puts you in a more vulnerable position subject to criticism or negative thoughts from others. We must get back to how things were! - you panic internally.
It’s all perspective. We want to minimise our risk of feeling like people are staring at us, judging us, nit-picking us the way we nit-pick ourselves, and wondering if they can tell how self-conscious we are.
The little apartment you’ve created for yourself of how things ‘should’ be confines you to keeping everything in a certain, specific way to remain cosy and comfortable for you. Except it still isn’t going to be resilient to an earthquake, or a power outage, or when you realise that there are only so many old sitcoms you can watch by yourself before you realise your life’s actually a bit sad really.
Your most fulfilling life happens outside of your little apartment, outside of your comfort zone - when you let go of caring about how other people perceive you and start focusing on what brings you joy and lights you up - no matter how scary it seems to take those leaps of faith sometimes.
I challenge you this week to question your intentions behind your health and fitness goals.
Who are you, no, seriously, who ARE you doing this for?
Are you doing this because you desperately want to crawl back into a body that’s seemingly more societally acceptable?
The fitness industry loves to talk about getting out of our comfort zones but frankly, I think the fitness industry is uncomfortable (ironically) with the idea that sometimes that also means challenging the ideals it perpetuates.
Sure, it’s not exactly comfortable to do 100 burpees in a row or order salad instead of pizza…
But stepping out of your comfort zone also means being willing to truly examine our negative thought patterns and allow ourselves to feel the pain we’ve been trying to mask with over-eating, restricting, body-checking and self-pitying.
Only then, can we overcome the obstacles that got us here in the first place - and work towards our health goals in a truly sustainable and fulfilling way.
