A note on self-love
I am definitely someone who was born to love.
When I was younger, this manifested as keeping the bar low when it came to standards in relationships. I remember breaking up with my high school boyfriend when I was 15, and then he texted me ‘all good, you were ugly anyway’. Two weeks later, he asked me to take him back - and I said yes!
It’s so ridiculous to look back on, and I can laugh about it now - but it’s also a reflection on my own self worth at the time.
I, like many of my friends, have been guilty of seeking out external validation to prove my self worth - rather than accepting myself as I am and improving my relationship with myself.
It’s not just something we do when we date people who barely respect us as humans…
It’s something we do when we tolerate staying in ultra-taxing jobs just because the title (and the paycheck) feels impressive.
It’s something that we do when we punish ourselves with strict diets and endless amounts of exercise, to the point where we’re always hungry and obsessing about food - but as soon as one person tells us we’re ‘glowing’ or ‘looking great!’, it makes it all worth it.
This Valentine’s Day (or week, I should probably say), is the perfect opportunity to set an intention to focus on self love.
Having self love means not tolerating a life that consistently tears you down and makes you unhappy.
Having self love means romanticising your life by reminding yourself regularly in different ways that you are important and worthy of having a life that makes you feel good too.
A video I saw today by Florence Given inspired me as she shared her example of how the more she incorporated her favourite colour - which is pink - into her outfits, her living space and her life in general (her hair is pink too), the happier and more authentically ‘her’ she felt. It wasn’t because the colour was making her happier, it was because she was being intentional about repeatedly doing things that proved to her that she was important, valuable, and special in her own life.
Practicing self love means prioritising self care.
It’s not the self care activities themselves that represent how much love that you have for yourself, but it’s the repetition of consistently showing up for yourself and doing things that make you feel a little bit better that will help you reinforce yourself as a priority in your own life.
It’s about whether you can balance out whatever is taxing you and draining you at the moment with things that energise you and enlighten you.
It’s about whether you’re taking action to make the thoughts you have about yourself a net positive rather than a net negative.
I’m not saying that you should just slap on a face mask, pour a glass of wine, watch reruns of Friends and then hashtag #selfcare - but I encourage you today, or this week, to think deeply about things that genuinely do light you up.
Feel free to journal, or just ponder…
-What am I tolerating right now that isn’t truly serving me?
-What can I incorporate more of to romanticise my own life?
With love,
L
